Cosmic - Accepting Applications

COSMIC: YOUR INTERGALACTIC CUDDLE CAPTAIN

(Transmission received from one very large, very snuggly space cat)

Greetings, Earth Human.
I am Cosmic, a 1–2‑year‑old black‑and‑white celestial life‑form with the gravitational pull of a small moon and the body mass of a star who thinks he’s lap‑sized.

Spoiler: I am not. But I will still land on your lap with the confidence of a meteor on a mission.

MY SPECIFICATIONS

• Model: Male

• Species: Unknown… possibly part nebula

• Coat: Black & white cosmic swirl

• Systems Check: Vaccinated, neutered, dewormed, FIV/FeLV negative

• Compatibility:

• Cats: I coexist… but sometimes my mood goes supernova

• Dogs: Uncharted territory

• Kids: Also uncharted

• Adults: Yes — especially those with sturdy laps

MY PERSONALITY MODULE

I am what scientists call a Velcro Cat, meaning I orbit my chosen human at all times. If you move, I move. If you sit, I land. If you attempt to stand up during my nap cycle, I will issue a gentle but firm protest signal (meow).

I believe naps should occur 24/7, preferably on a warm human surface. If you try to relocate me, I will activate my “heavy star mode,” instantly increasing my density by 300%.

I also communicate through soft cosmic chirps, requesting head rubs, pets, and general adoration. I am not demanding. I am simply maintaining proper cosmic balance.

ORIGIN STORY: THE DAY THE UNIVERSE SHIFTED

My rescuers set out to save a whole constellation of street cats. The universe had other plans — heartbreaking ones. In the end, they could only save one.

Me.

From the moment they approached, I didn’t ask for food or space. I asked for love. I leaned in, pressed my giant star‑body against them, and offered trust like a comet offering light in the dark.

They carried grief for the lives they couldn’t reach.
I became their comfort — a soft, purring reminder that even in the vastness of loss, something bright can still be found.

MY MISSION OBJECTIVE

I seek a forever home where I can:

• Nap on humans

• Follow you like your personal space satellite

• Receive infinite head rubs

• Be adored for my oversized heart and undersized sense of personal space

• Continue my cosmic cuddle research

If you’re looking for a loyal, loving, slightly dramatic celestial companion, I am ready to begin our shared orbit.

End of transmission.
Love,
Cosmic